Here are the beautiful words of my twin sister who recently commenced IVF.  Sadly, no eggs were fertilised in the first round, but she is currently undergoing her second round.  Fingers and ovaries crossed.


For 32 years I planned for you

Built my house on three degrees, 2 careers, a small but cosy savings account and travel adventures I hoped would inspire you.

Leaches. Scuba diving. Stinky tofu.


For 27 years I searched for my partner

Someone to dote on you with abundant enthusiasm

I found someone and life was lovely.

When you find THE ONE they say you KNOW.


I hope you KNOW one day.


We planned for you.

In our dreams. At a fertility clinic.

We had the PERFECT donor.

My best friend’s brother and life was lovely.


And this is where the lovely stops.


Where life and all its chaos happens.

Where life is not fair and you make an earnest vow to appreciate it if it turns back in your favour

Where your mother can no longer put a band-aid on, kiss you and tell you it will be ok.

Because it’s a promise she has no power to keep


My partner ended it and I was sad.

Partly because I missed her.

Mostly because I lost the future we spoke of.


In my dreams I had painted your room

With Little My Ponies, soccer balls and all the colours of a lolly shop

With stars that shared stories and pointed to endless possibilities


I reveled in your giggles, your shrills and silence that sung,

Mummy, I love you

Mummy, I feel safe

Mummy, isn’t life just wonderful?

Yours was my favourite song


The first time you tripped I wanted to pad the ground with bouncing castles so you would never feel pain in this world

But I knew grazes would shape you

A gift that you could play hopscotch

Twirl yourself ‘til you fell dizzy

Avoid the hot potatoes on the burly streets of life


In my dreams you had a younger brother or sister.

and you would play so beautifully,

Then fight, kiss and make up


You were cheeky

You finished your cupcake, then asked your sibling for half of theirs

Your sibling gave you the big half

I allowed it because you said, ‘Please’


For 32 years I picked names

Elliott, Hugo, Luca, Benson

You must have been a boy because it was these names I always picked.


I caught your hazel eyes

As you caught golden butterflies and asked, Why?

Why do these fanciful creatures only live two weeks?


Because life is full of truths like these


And baby, education can wait. Careers can wait.

But babies baby, cannot.


Nanna Tonkin had it right

I should have sold bananas in Coles

What good is a career if you have no one to spend your toils on?


For 32 years I had not planned for this

How can I age 12 years with a blood test?

12 childbearing years

Then words from my donor

Two years after the deposit was made

My fiance does not approve, I’m sorry I cannot go

through with it


Time stopped that day

For five months the clock struck

No you did not ovulate


I peed on every stick on the market

No smiling faces or double lines

A lonely stroke that stabbed at my identity

Arms bruised like a junkie

I stopped counting the blood tests when I counted my unborn baby’s last toe

I stopped looking at my bank account

When there was nothing to see


I engaged in promiscuous activities

And all I got was a venereal disease

An ant of an irritant

Beside the hairy monster of despair


They say infertility is a roller coaster


My ride has been the giant drop

I once enjoyed adrenaline

But this is the kind

Where you cling to the seat

Cause the buckle is broken

And you don’t know how you will survive

If you can’t have a child


I hate my ovaries

Because they are failing

I love my ovaries

Because they are my hope of a biological child


I wait for my next cycle

to begin in vitro fertilization

Begin injecting follicle stimulating hormone

A dose two times the normal recommended

A dose that increases the risk of miscarriage and down syndrome

But if this is my chance of a child

It’s the chance I’ll take





Bastille etc.

Regular readers will know my appreciation for all things French.  Champagne, fashion, food, au pairs….  So when it came to Bastille Day, I was all oui, oui.  Went to Le Bon Choix Paddington for some celebrations with my dear friend J, twin sister and the boys.

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Let them eat cake.


Made a little effort to dress up.  I’m loving the spandex in this Mesop dress.  Think I’ll get a couple more months out of it.  And thank goodness scarves, capes and shoes don’t discriminate against weight gain.


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Wore Babi Bello Georgia heels.  Seriously comfortable.  There is a mega sale over there at the moment if you’re in need of a bargain.
babi bello georgia

We also checked out the Bastille Day festival at Southbank on the weekend.  Here’s my twin and I both wearing stripes.  Serious telepathy.

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It was such a lovely day out.  Mime artists.  Cancan dancers.  Good food.  Couldn’t have the soft cheeses or wines.  Compensated with plenty of croissants and sweets instead.

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And French soup. The soup was nothing like the continental mix soup my mum used to make.  Packet soooup!

Spent the earlier part of the week in Hervey Bay visiting family.  How versatile are stripes?  French.  Nautical.  They go anywhere.

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The sparkly sea was the perfect backdrop for my shimmery pianaru studio jeans.

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You’d hardly know it was winter.

uncooked crab

hervey bay crabshervey bay crab preparation

I baked a chocolate cake with the boys yesterday.  We had some for dessert, but the rest of the cake (3/4) went missing.  There were a few crumbs here and there, but that’s about it.  Have narrowed it down to one suspect:
She gets into everything.  Pretty sure dogs shouldn’t eat chocolate cake- but am relieved it wasn’t more clothes.  Have consulted google, and apparently there needs to be 100-150 mg/kg of Theobromide to cause a toxic reaction. Poor thing has already been getting poisoned with those supermarket dog rolls.  Apparently, according to the vet, this is like junk food!  Talk about mother guilt.
Over to current affairs.  Am so relieved to learn of the verdict for Alison Baden-Clay’s murder.  Rarely do I get so worked up over a trial, but this one’s close to home for us, as Brookfield is a nearby suburb… and I’ve been scratched by little boys finger nails enough to know that those scratches were not from shaving.
 I hope the family can find some peace and closure from this outcome.
Hope you’re well. x


 It’s finally cold in these parts and I have retrieved my furs from storage.  I wanted to donate some furs to the poor freezing girls at Gold Coast on the weekend, who were strutting around in mini skirts and crop tops like it was schoolies.  Meanwhile I was warm and snuggly in my oversized Country Road woollen jumper while I tut-tutted.

cold GC beach

cold seaside

It might not be as glamorous as New Years…

fireworks scanlan and theodore

But I was comfy.

cold penthouse

cold Q1

I’m looking forward to a few more child free get aways before the new baby arrives.  Fortunately, when my twin looks after the boys, they seem to think it’s me when they climb into bed with her in the middle of the night!

Still getting lots of invites to glamorous events.  On Saturday morning we attended R’s 4th birthday Frozen Party.  M went all out with the food and decorations.  She made this cake all by herself…

frozen cake

And the pin the carrot on Olaf.frozen pin the carrot

Here’s my 2 year old about to release Olaf into the heavens….

frozen olaffrozen olaf ii

Could you imagine the wrath of the four year old party goers if he’d have succeeded?!  I knew M would do something fancy.  Here’s the cake she prepared for our mother’s group Christmas get together last year.

mother's group cake

It’s lovely being part of a mother’s group that still has regular contact 4 years after our babies were born.  Sadly, these occasions are becoming fewer and fewer with the conflicting requirements of the kindy schedules, and no doubt will change with the onset of prep.  So I’m treasuring these get togethers more than ever.

The family also went to lunch last week at Nantucket.  We were a little early for the lunch menu, so had to settle with snacks.  Comfort food.

nantucket macaroni
nantucket cornbread
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Pork sliders and corn bread were divine, although the mac and cheese was a little bland for me.

The boys chose their meals from old school camera film thingies (not sure what they’re called?), where they could flick through pictures of the food items!  Genius.nantucket children's menu

Here I am debuting my pianara studio coat.  You will be seeing a lot more of this one.

nantucket pianaru coat with boys

How have you been anyway?   Attending glamorous events?  Wearing furs? Oversized woollen jumpers?  Know of any child friendly restaurants for children in Brisbane?

Four years old etc…

I blinked and my sweetheart baby was four years old!  So much to love about this boy.  At the moment he’s talking to his brother about going to “Chicken World” and convincing him to get on a boat (the recliner) to get there.  Apparently, he’s going to be the driver.

 The day after his 3rd birthday party, he declared he’d have a batman 4th birthday party…. he never wavered.

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Lucky I’m partial to a cape. 

cape outfit

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BeFunky_four table .jpg BeFunky_four spiderman ii.jpgLolly man made another appearance.
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Because I am a stay at home mum, with a great deal of hired help, I drew cityscapes around the take home boxes to bring them into theme.
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To think this was a year ago…parrty sawing birthday cakethird birthday building game- boxes

And this was two years ago…

barnyard preston and jayden

barnyard horseride

farmyard pinata pig with alanAnyway guess where that jumping castle now lives?  In our play room!  And to think I nearly hired one instead.


In other exciting news we recently purchased an investment property/ development site as part of a joint venture.

cape- sold

It’s a little run down.

cape- house

Minutes after the auction finished, the boys removed the entire first level of bricks on the front fence!cape- house bricksNothing we haven’t dealt with before.
auchenflower delapitated house

auchenflower under house

Here I am 7 months pregnant sifting through a deceased hoarder’s home that we’d purchased as part of a joint venture, convinced there’d be treasure hidden there somewhere!

auchenflower house

Needless to say there was no treasure.

On the morning sickness front, things have improved substantially, providing I have zofran.  Chips, lollies and pizza are also essential, and when the boys spot me eating yet another entire packet of cheezles, I tell them mummy needs her medicine.  My youngest son just gave me a starburst lolly he’d found on the ground saying, ‘I found your medicine mum!’.  Bless them x

Phantom of the Opera

Last Friday, I attended the Red Rose Fund’s annual dinner raising funds for Cancer Council.  It was a black and white themed masquerade ball held at Gabbinbar, Toowoomba.  Frankly, it reminded me of Phantom of the Opera.

Now I don’t normally show photos of my husband, because…. well…..

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phantom statue

The ladies were beautifully dressed wearing their black and white ball gowns. S was on my best dressed list.

BeFunky_s.jpgMeanwhile, given my expanding waistline, I no longer fitted many options, and so my husband convinced me that it would be acceptable to wear this short black and white Asos dress.

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Needless to say, I was the only lady there wearing a short dress!  At least I was wearing CLs.

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….And could hide behind a mask.

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N was sitting next to me with her Jimmy Choo clutch.  I pretended it was mine for the night.

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Did I mention, I was married at Gabbinbar? In 2009, before it became trendy.  What do you think of the conservatorium?

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And the ball room?

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Food was special.
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BeFunky_phantom main.jpg
BeFunky_phantom dessert.jpgAlso, I won an auction item!  Have to book in for a spa day, hair treatment and personal styling session.  Also I won an Adina Ladies Diamond Set gold watch.  Lucky I’m competitive!  

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My husband tried to convince me that the blog should be a corporate sponsor of the event.  I laughed… and laughed….  Can you imagine?  XX lawyers, XX accounting etc…. then Housewife in Heels blog!!!!  Just in case I wasn’t uncomfortable enough wearing a short dress.  His work sponsored it instead, but he maintained the blog should have.   Ha ha…

It’s a ….

When I had the transnuchal scan for my last pregnancy, there were tears.  Rest assured the baby was perfectly healthy, but it was a…. boy!  Well this time…. no tears….

I don’t normally show identifying pictures of my children, but…

baby 3

it’s hard to resist when he’s so cute.

So much for the milkshakes.

There’s still a little ache for pink, but I’m counting my blessings, especially given that fertility issues are so common.

My twin is about to proceed with IVF, and my older sister’s son was a miracle born of surrogacy.

So I’ll buy more duplo and a few more trains, and maybe have a fourth!


One trimester down…

It has been awhile….. almost one trimester!  Reader, I am 13ish weeks pregnant!!!! Whilst I am excited, it has not been pretty.  I have been couch bound with 24/7 nausea and vomiting- my fingers too weak to type so much as a single reply to the blogs I follow.  My boys often imitate me: “I’m Mummy” whilst lying on the couch and closing their eyes.  Thank goodness for my husband, cleaners, child care, babysitters and my mum.  Turns out there is a limit to the amount of television young children will watch.

I have been living in my new Tallulah zebra print maternity pants.  They are not technically maternity, but they are extra large with an elastic waistband.

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I’ve been through morning sickness for both my previous pregnancies, so it was not unexpected.  I went straight for the Zofran, which I supplement with kool mints, skittles, chips, monte carlos and hundreds and thousands cookies.  I am not taking any chances.

Plus, look what my darling friend J (who suffered terrible morning sickness) baked for me:

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Lavender and gingerbread biscuits.  Apparently Kate Middleton swore by the lavender biscuits in her pregnancy with George.  I am following this trend.  The recipe is on J’s new blog here.  J’s a triple threat- a Doctor who bakes, and she is funny.  In fact, I suggest you stop reading this post, and head on over there now.

In other news, the boys have got there own new quarters in the backyard. On Wednesday, the ‘Mansion’ cubby house was installed by Aarons Outdoor living.  The poor hedge has been hacked to accommodate.  Meanwhile, I think we will need a second mortgage.

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My first semester of uni is coming to an end.  Reader, I got a High Distinction for my first assignment.  To think of all the time I wasted.  I can assure you, there will be no repeats of this behaviour!

Bubbles continues to get bigger, much like her owner.  They say owners and dogs grow to look like each other.  Here she is after being spayed a few weeks ago.

pregnant bubbles iipregnatn bubbles collar

Happy Easter.

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Happy Mother’s Day.
pregnant flowers

DId I miss anything?

I hope you are well.  Any tips for dealing with morning sickness?  x

The dark side of CLs…

 Did you see anything disturbing in my last post?  See those beautiful “Christian Louboutin” Bow Satin D’Orsay Pink ones?

100 shoes iii100 shoeSadly, they have a dark side.

100 shoes iiThat sole just isn’t glossy like it should be…

christian lououtin

They are fake!  Purchased off ebay, from a naive seller who herself  had purchased them from ebay and genuinely believed them to be real.  It’s always a risk with an internet purchase, especially a small time seller. It is sad.  I hate to support an evil industry.  There is one winner in all this: Bubbles.


Now that it’s April, let’s talk Easter.

easter buns cooked iieaster hatchlin alaneaster- egg sandcastle alan

easter breakfast tableeaster breakfastI’ve been training hard for Easter.  Eating chocolate year round.

chocolate shoesI read in the Courier Mail the other day that chefs are frustrated at food selfies.  Apparently it destroys the ambience and you should just enjoy your food.  If you insist on taking a photo of your food, you’ve got 5 seconds. So here we go… ’00 acre bar at Hillstone, St Lucia:

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pretty flowers

Any ebay horror stories?  Are you taking longer than 5 seconds on food selfies?  Eating chocolate eggs and hot cross buns already?

Christian Louboutins etc…

Told you I was going to recreate the burger magic. See that tarragon mixed with thinly sliced tomato and red onion?  Add a little mayo to a heavily buttered toasted bun and you too can enjoy.

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This photo must have been taken about 15 minutes after the table was set.

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Need a chaser?  How about meringue, cream, and strawberries?
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Bubbles is growing fast.  She’s put on about 6 kilograms since we got her in February…

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Much like her owner.  There’s only so many milkshakes a girl can have (and I’ve been averaging 3 a day!) before she gains 4 kilograms.  Thank goodness for flattering angles. And the sparkly Allanah Hill cardigan and the faithful Shakuhatchi dress I’ve had all these years.

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And for Christian Louboutins.  They are very forgiving and don’t care how much weight you gain.  100 shoe
100 shoes iii 100 shoes

The front garden is looking lush thanks to the heavens.

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For the first time, we dined overlooking the front garden.  
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Thought candles might be a nice touch. Found some fancy glitter tea light candles left over from Christmas.

100 candle

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It wasn’t to be.

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My first assignment has been handed in…

BeFunky_100 first assignment.jpg… thanks to this guy:
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What do people have against eating rabbit anyway?
I keep reminding myself that ‘p’s mean degrees’, which goes against my natural drive- but I do have a 2 and 3 year old who are my priority.  A friend used to get so upset if she ever performed better than a pass grade, figuring she’d spent too much time studying! Ha!
Good news.  A month after her original operation, my sister has returned home to her 5 year old!  Just in time for his prep end of term concert.
Hope you are well.  Have you ever studied with children?  Any tips?  Anything else you’d like to share? x

Sisters, date night etc.

My sister is out of hospital and recovering at the HiH recovery centre.  Here we are when we were 3 and 4ish.BeFunky_sisters photo.jpg

And here are my sisters 28ish years later, on Friday night.  They are both wearing black and white stripes.  Talk about family resemblance.

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Nothing like sister time.

Since I don’t have a personal chef, we had the next best thing- Chinese takeaway from Ironside Chinese.  Take note Mr Chow.

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It’s amazing how much weight you can lose when you stand at the right angle in the right pair of heels.  Love this Moss and Spy leather skirt.  I plan on wearing it every second day in winter.

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Snuck in a date night at Fleet Street, Indooroopilly.

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Bubbles is going to puppy school.

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She also has a thing for shoes.  Choos, Louboutins, Ferragamos… she doesn’t seem to discriminate.  They are not safe.

She has destroyed our carpet, our bed, the boys toys, but I draw the line at the shoes!

thanksgiving pinnk roses

Tonight we’re having friends over for dinner.  I’ll be recreating the Boxing Day burger.burger

Boxing day tomato salsaChristmas boxing day swim pool The secret is the tarragon and the mayonnaise.

Hope you are well.  The plane’s still missing. Vogue has Kim Kardashian on it’s cover. What is going on with the world? x